The wife's battle buddy

  Being an Army Wife is harder than any trial I've ever had to face. Not because I'm on the front lines but because I'm the one at home fighting an emotional and psychological war. One in which I have to not allow myself to worry myself sick or think about the worse all the time.

  It's been said that a soldier is a person who writes a blank check made payable to the United States of America for an amount up to and including his life. It is probably one of the best ways to describe a soldier's commitment to his country. But, as a spouse, we co-sign that same check. Saying that we understand the sacrifice that our husband is willing to make on our behalf and on the behalf of the entire country.

  But just because we understand and accept that does not make each day he is at war any easier. It does not give anyone the right to tell me that "You knew what you were getting into." And it certainly does not make fearing the worse any less of a terrifying reality than it is.

  I have never been more proud of anything in my life as I am with the fact that my husband is a soldier for the United States. I do not even think I can put into words the emotion that I felt when I saw him graduate from Infantry Training or when I saw him come home from Afghanistan, there are no accurate words to explain the pride, joy, and relief you feel.

  I hate for any person to go through what deployed military spouses go through, but what I would not trade for anything would be the bonds you make with the wives who help you through the battles at home. Unless you have lived this life and had the experiences and conversations that we have had to have, with our husbands and ourselves, no one can relate to how we feel except for one another. We come together in times where we feel so completely alone. We celebrate with one another when one of the husbands come home. We cry together when we learn of someone's husband or father or son who has a very different kind of homecoming. And we share this blanket of fear, sadness, and loneliness and we get through those times together.

  Stephanie and I have shared many of our fears with one another but even as we talk about what scares us the most we realize that no matter what comes we have one another to lean on and trust and get support from. We understand our role in our husband's life. We support him. Period. And if being a soldier makes him happy then we will follow him to the ends of the Earth, and we don't make that commitment begrudgingly. We make it happily because he's doing what he loves. Many of these type of conversations will involve tears but that's what our "battle buddy" does, we support one another in one of the hardest things a wife can be asked to do; and that's to wake-up each morning knowing you might receive a knock on your door but to love him like that is never a possibility.