As the days come and go I am finding myself more and more anxious to be with my husband (something I'm getting used to saying). Between trying to get paperwork together, changing my name at one of the 50 places I have to do that at, looking at apartments, condos, houses, pricing cell phone plans, insurance and compiling a list of bills and "to-do's" and misc. expenses there are constant reminders about moving and I am ready to be there.
Now please don't misunderstand me when I say this. Just because I'm tired of being away from Shawn doesn't mean that leaving my family, friends, and what has been my home for 20 years is any easier. Although I do admit I think less about how much I'm going to miss everything here and more about how I can't wait to cook dinner for Shawn. :)
I think one of the things I'm going to miss the most is coffee time with my mom. Just the hour or two (or five) where we would just sit and recap about our days, worry about the ones we cared about, complain about who gets on our nerves, laugh over something silly, cry because of some tough situation we're facing, etc. Lately I've been handling it well, but actually I haven't thought about it much lately either. My mom is my best friend and leaving her and that special time together behind is going to be so hard. Leaving everything is going to be hard. I know I'm going to miss all the fun times at work, my best friend's and my's crazy nights together, the church family that has recently helped heal me in ways few understand, being able to walk around in my underwear and not be seen, having the ability to walk outside and ride or just visit my horses, being a 5 second walk from my parents, there's so much I'm leaving behind, so much I'm giving up to be with him. Which I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, which is maybe why I'm clinging so hard to moving with him.
I mean it makes sense. Shawn and I were talking about it a couple nights ago. Right now I have my girlfriends and my mom to make me laugh and feel good when I'm having a bad day. I have them to vent to when I'm frustrated with Shawn, life, school, work, whatever. Right now I have all these various outlets for my many, many emotions. In just a couple of weeks Shawn has to fulfill all of those spots until I find friends of my own. So it makes sense that I would so desperately want to be with him, because I feel like the longer I spend here the harder it will be to leave. So I find myself being less patient with my family, wanting to spend as much time with friends as possible, and dreading any type of work. Lol. I wish everything would just fall into place and that I can take a pill so the pain of leaving won't be so immense when it happens. *sigh*
On a slightly more positive side things are slowly but surely coming together for Shawn and I and my big move. Paperwork is getting filled out, officially I have changed my name, and we're trying to see where we can move and when I can get there. Anyway I hope everyone is doing well and you're getting prepared for Christmas which is also right around the corner. :)
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