RIP Angel

I wanted to take a quick moment and ask that if you are reading this to please have a moment of silence for the storm victims this last week. One particular story has hit a strong heart string with me. Angel (3-yrs-old) and her entire family, parents and two more siblings (one being a newborn) lost their life in a tornado that landed Angel in a field ten miles from her home.

Take a moment, no matter how bad you think your day has gone and think of five things or people you are grateful for. Including, as my Dad would say, being vertical and breathing. My other five:

1) I have a husband who loves and supports me.

2) I have a stable job that I enjoy.

3) I have a family who I know would be there for me no matter what.

4) I am healthy.

5) I have awesome friends who have helped me through this deployment.

BONUS:

Deployment is almost over!! :)

RIP Angel, her family, and everyone who was effected by the storms.

78 Days--Reasons I love my soldier.

 Ok so Shawn sent me this awful article last night and he was livid over the author's audacity and blatant disrespect for the military and what they do. I will not post the article link because I don't want to be responsible for any additions to her "view count." However basically she says that all military personnel are either suicidal, depressed, mentally unstable, crippled, or homicidal. She says some other very inappropriate things that I won't get into because this blog is not about that. This blog, in its entirety, is about my love and journey with my American Hero. Shawn. The man. The soldier. My husband.

  Now I considered making this entry in my blog my response to her, however I've decided that someone with that little respect for my husband and I does not deserve a response so instead I'm just going to give my personal reasons as to why I love the man I'm with and why him being a soldier makes me even more proud to be called his wife.


1. Shawn and I fell in love long before the Army ever crossed his mind. I think that time allowed for us to find out a lot about one another without only seeing the other once every couple of months.

2. The Army is what made us get back together in the first place.

3. I know that for at least the next three years any health problems I have are taken care of and I will never have to worry if my husband is going to be laid off next week.

4. My husband joined the Army because he wanted to become a better man. He is willing to sacrifice his life in order for you and I to enjoy the country we are so blessed to live in.

5. I knew when my husband received orders for deployment the potential for PTSD, loss of limbs, disfigurement, etc would be there. But I would never turn my back on the one I love out of fear because, in my opinion, someone who did that would be a coward, and that my friends is something I'll never be.

6. I also understood when I signed my marriage certificate that I was signing up for long, lonely nights waiting for the next phone call from him. And I knew I would live in fear for 365 days of having men in dress blues show up on my doorstep.

7. However seeing my husband for the first time in 8 months made all of #6 completely worth it.

8. If, God forbid, the worse were to happen I know that I have an entire Nation standing behind me to support me in my loss and grief. I also know that the Army will do their best to take care of me as things are put in order.

9. I know moving from state to state (or even across the world) can be difficult on children but I am also confident in knowing that Shawn will be the best father he possibly can and when he can't I will try to fulfill both roles to the best of my ability.

10. I have never been more proud of a person in my life than I am of my husband. There are no adequate words to describe what I felt when I saw him graduate from boot camp or when I saw him board the bus to head to Afghanistan.

  There are a lot more reasons why loving Shawn is right for me, soldier or not. But I will say this, If anyone so much as dares to say something negative about our troops or my soldier to my face you better believe they won't be standing before they're even able to finish the first sentence. I love my husband. I love my country. And I love being an Army Wife. Hooah! ;)

81 Days

Well I have had a very enjoyable/productive couple of days. First of all I had Saturday and Sunday off, the first time I've had two days off in a row since I've been back home (which has already been a month!!). So I caught up on all the stuff around the house that I've let go which means I; did all the laundry, finally unpacked from the trip home, deep cleaned the entire house, and basically organized everything that needed it. I also completed my first my week of school since taking my leave of absence and I am officially halfway through my second week of Operation: Makeover. And I spent some needed time with the puppies as well.

Tonight I cooked dinner for Stephanie and I, hamburger steak, green beans, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and cake. Except the cake ended up looking like I put it through the blender..or that my mom tried to cut it. Lmao! It was super moist and I was trying to ice it and decorate it before Steph arrived and went to flip the top layer on the bottom and it just completely fell a part..However!! It was still amazingly delicious.

Another exciting event was seeing the Northern Lights tonight. I saw them very dimly a couple nights ago and wasn't that impressed but tonight there was a gorgeous green aurora over the house so we stood outside for a bit and gazed at it.

The puppies are doing really well. Molly is on a diet because she's put on a bit too much weight over this last year so I'm starting to work on that. And Gibson is just driving me nuts, he has been so antsy the last couple of days...maybe he feels my excitement over Shawn being home so soon?

Speaking of Shawn I watched our wedding rehearsal video yesterday and we did this disgustingly adorable thing and it was actually caught on tape! He came up behind me and kissed my shoulder and we kissed then we played keep away with kisses until we ended up doing "eskimo kisses." It's so cute, I miss him and our shenanigans.

Operation: Makeover is going really well. And seeing as how I'm in week two and going into week three I've decided to share what I'm doing. So about a month ago Steph was really excited about this workout program that she was doing and I took her first week before and after pictures and you could already tell the difference! So I told her a few days later that I wanted to give it a shot and she happened to have an extra set of DVDs and so I started the program. It's called "Brazil Butt Lift." And It. Is. AWESOME. If you're reading this blog you probably already know me and my personality and let's face it I do not enjoy "working out." I like being active, horses, softball, games, that kind of thing. Well seeing that I don't have those outlets here I decided that enough was freaking enough I needed to do something about my weight. Not only for health reasons but because I was no longer comfortable in my own skin anymore and I hated it. And the biggest reason why I didn't want to change anything was because it was going to take too much effort. To much effort to cook healthy meals rather than grabbing food on the way home. To much effort to come home after working all day and then workout too. So initially I was really nervous about the program. I bought a cardio video a few months ago and couldn't get through ten minutes of it! So I didn't tell very many people about it because to be honest I didn't know if I was going to stick with it. But I have and it is one of the best workouts I have ever done or seen. It's not that its easy and there's some stuff that I'll have to work up to but its doable and that's what is important. I normally have two workouts a day and I haven't missed one and unless something crazy happens I'm not going to. Mostly because I know how disappointed in myself I would be. This is the first time that I've ever molded my life to the way that would make me happy and it is such an empowering feeling and I am absolutely stoked to be able to say "I did it." at the end of this program.

So anyway I'm really proud and happy with the progress and proud of how well everything is going right now. Shawn is going to be home so soon and I am just so stinking excited! AND I think I might know what dress I'll be picking my baby up in. :) And I. Am. Excited! Woo hoo!! Well ladies and gents I will be signing off for the night and talking to my baby. Here's a pic of my blendercake to give you a laugh.

 

85 Days--The Vow

  So Steph and I went to see the newest love story in theaters today "The Vow." For those of you who live under a rock (or are my mother and never turn on the t.v.) the movie is based on true events (the couple said it was loosely based but some scenes hit very close to home.). The woman in the movie (Rachel McAdams) suffers a severe head trauma after a car accident with her husband (Channing Tatum *swoon*) to the point where she completely forgets their life together. [Which in real life is 10 months in the movie it's five years.] So the movie is about their struggle to find who they are as a couple but also who she is individually. I'm not going to say anything else about the movie because I definitely do not want to spoil it for anyone.

  So much of this movie hit home for me. Not because I've been in a traumatic car accident but because what they movie really ends up being about is her finding herself and accepting this completely strange life. I cannot relate to her where amnesia is concerned (although Shawn would disagree and say I have amnesia about things all the time ;) but I can relate to finding things out about yourself that you had no idea existed to begin with.

  There were also a couple of scenes that we very "Shawn" or Shawn and I. And so. I cried. A lot. I don't know I have much several movies because I wanted to cry but for whatever reason this movie made me really miss Shawn. Maybe because the love between the two characters was so evident and their relationship was something I could so easily relate to.

  Nine and a half times out of ten I do not cry on the phone with Shawn. First of all, it makes everything harder on him because I don't want him to think I'm not doing okay. Secondly, I hate crying. But tonight I just couldn't help it, I just started bawling. And he's worrying about me asking if I'm ok and I'm like; *super crying/whiny voice* "Nooo, I miss you and I want you to come homeeee." And he goes into telling me how much I mean to him and how I'm his angel...which makes me cry even harder. After a couple minutes I calm down and tell him that I just really miss him and am tired of coming home to any empty house and I'm tired of cooking for one and walking (although he thought I said talking, lol) the dogs by myself, and just stuff that we would normally do together. *sigh*

  So anyway after THAT we laughed about things and talked about things we wanted to do when he got home and overall just continued to share our life together in the only way available to us. Connecting through phone lines despite being half a world away from one another. He truly is the only man that completes me and makes me feel the way I do. He was given me so much these last couple years and I am so lucky and blessed to call him mine. And I am so glad I get to spend the rest of  my life with the man who has done so many things right.

  Sleep well or have a good day my friends. And I will talk to you in the morning baby, hope your day goes well and I cannot wait to have you home and in my arms once more.

The puppies saying good-night;

Silly stuff I do as an Army wife

 So I don't know about other military wives but I have these odd little things I do since Shawn's been gone. I normally clean out my fridge once a week in order to clear out all the leftovers or spoiled food. I have made a habit of checking all the "sell by" dates on everything when I do it. Now that's probably not so weird but what is is the fact that I get really excited when there is food in my fridge that isn't going to go bad before Shawn gets home. It seriously makes me so happy. And its because having that date reminds me that it is so very, very close. And I was telling Shawn about this tonight and he just laughed at me but there's other stuff too like;

*I got my car's oil changed the other day and its due again when Shawn should be home and I was ecstatic to see something that I can plan on including him in, even if its just an oil change.

*Every time I run out of shampoo or body wash or conditioner or whatever I get really sad when I buy their replacements because I would like to pick-up what Shawn would normally need. And I can't yet.

*When I moved I set up the bathroom to my liking, which basically means that Shawn's toiletries and such are under the sink. Well...I can't wait to plug his beard trimmer back in and put his brush on the counter and keep baby wipes in the bathroom again.

*I miss having to wash his clothes and pick up his boots.

*I love being the wife that knows where, basically, everything is. I miss being able to tell him where I put his undershirts, his sunglasses, his books, whatever.

*I also really want to cook for the two of us again. I actually enjoy cooking but I have learned that I loathe cooking for one person. It. Is. Not. Fun.

  The other thing I really miss about having him home is the intimacy we share. And I'm not talking about sex, but just being with one another. Sharing my life with him (good and bad) is so extremely important to me. I don't want to be one of the couples that get so wrapped up in what's going on personally that they no longer know the person they are married to and vice versa. I miss holding his hand while we're walking or driving. I miss being able to turn to him and get his opinion on this, that, or the other. I just miss him being around and I'm just ready for him to be home.

  Anyway now I'm going to bed my friends. Hope you have a good Monday. :)

88 Days

  Well it's been a couple days and nothing hugely interesting has happened. I worked, I'm down 5, got 79 to go of my "makeover," I start classes tomorrow, and I took the dogs for a walk at Creamer's Field. That pretty much wraps up the last two days. :)

  On a completely different note I'm missing Shawn like crazy. The last couple of days we haven't been able to have any real conversations except about taxes and work, so I'm really hoping that tonight we'll be able to actually have a nice conversation about him coming home and things we want to do, etc.

  Anyway short and sweet tonight I'm afraid. I still need a shower and to go to bed early so I have enough energy for operation:makeover, work, and the first day of school. Woo hoo! Not. Have a nice day/night everyone. But here's a picture of the walk that me and the puppies took today.  :)

91 Days--Military Wife Model

  It has been a very long day and it's only 9:00 PM. But despite my night owl habits, my early bird alter-ego is wanting sleep so tonight I think I am tucking it in early.
 
  But not!! before I update this wonderful blog. Today officially marked Day 1 of "Completing Jenn Makeover." Or whatever I end up calling it. I feel good about it, and I hope I stay pumped about it because the reward will be so, so worth it. I just hope I keep that in mind at 6:15 in the morning tomorrow. Lol.

  Ok, well I've sat here for like 7 minutes looking at the computer screen trying to think of something interesting to talk about and the fact is. I got nothing. So here's a little something Steph posted a few months ago. It made me cry then, and made me cry tonight.

Military Wife Model

The good Lord was creating a model for Military Wives and was into his

sixth day of overtime when an Angel appeared.

She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one.

What's wrong with the standard model?"

The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be

completely independent, possess the qualities of both Mother and Father,

be a perfect hostess for four or forty with an hours notice, run on black

coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able

to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant or has the flu, and she

has to have six pair of hands."

The Angel shook her head. "Six pair of hands? No way!"

The Lord continued, "Don't worry, we will make other Military

Wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart

so it can swell with pride in her Husband's achievements, sustain

the pain of separation, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired,

and be large enough to say "I understand" when she doesn't and

"I love you" regardless."

"Lord", said the Angel, touching his arm gently. "Go to bed and

get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow."

"I can't stop now", said the Lord. "I am so close to creating something

so unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick,

can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave goodbye

to her Husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand

why it is important that he leave."

The Angel circled the model of the Military Wife, looked at it

closely and sighed. "It looks fine, but it's too soft."

"She may look soft," replied the Lord, "but she has the strength

of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure."

Finally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger across

the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced.

"Something is wrong with the construction. I'm not surprised that

it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model."

The Lord appeared offended at the Angel's lack of confidence.

"What you see is not a leak. It's a tear."

"A tear? What is it there for?", asked the Angel.

The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment,

loneliness, pride and dedication to all the values that she

and her Husband hold dear."

"You are a genius!" exclaimed the Angel.

The Lord looked puzzled and replied,

"I didn't put it there."

-Anonymous